The Strong Willed Child

I have one of those.  You know, the child with the strong will?  The one you can't make do anything, but you can teach to do everything!  She is smart, fun, exuberant and full of life; but she is strong...very strong.  It is her way, or the highway.  At least that is what she thinks.  It seems I am always having to make her think something was her idea in order to get her to do something.  Or, if she thinks something is unfair (to her disadvantage) then life is simply over, she doesn't like me anymore and doesn't need me.  Well, doesn't need me until lunch time, anyway.

We had such a moment the other day where yelling at her brother and calling him stupid was acceptable in her mind because he wanted to give her a kiss.  Humm?  And where did she learn the word stupid?  We don't use that in our house.  Oh, the same boy at Sunday school that taught her to stick out her tongue.  She seems to like taking his advice and learning his not so savvy ways, why doesn't she desire to learn good ways from us instead?  Ugg.  Well, after this particular moment she went to spend some time in her room alone.  As I walked by her door doing house work I saw her sitting on the floor starring high up on the wall just above her window and wondered what was going on, but I left her alone to think.  Eventually she came out and told me that she had been talking to the Lord, and He told her that it was her fault.  Wow.  This was profound.  She apologized on her own and gave hugs all around.

During these times of trying, when her exhibited will is strong in a neagative and disruptive way, I try to remind myself that one day she will need that strength.  What seems so difficult at the time will become a huge asset in her future.  She will be an adult that knows what she wants, says NO if she has to, and won't take NO for an answer when she shouldn't.  For today, I have the difficult task of teaching her how to wield that will and I must do so without crushing it.  Once a will is crushed it may never come back!